Everybody wants to rule the world

“Should I be more ambitious?” It’s an interesting and important question. Some people do want to rule the world. They are overflowing with ambition. Other people are content with their lives, desiring to continue as they are. They’ve reached their goal, or perhaps they were never burdened by ambition. Then there are the rest of us, who have a variety of goals and dreams but aren’t sure of how hard to pursue each one and if the tradeoffs will be worth the sacrifice.

Early in your career, there aren’t many tradeoffs or obligations. You can actively pursue advancement, and entry-level promotions come quickly. Once you reach senior or principal/staff positions, promotions are granted less often, you’ve likely assumed obligations, and tradeoffs between family, hobbies, causes, and career are more significant and, at times, severe. Yet you watch some of your more ambitious peers continue to move up into broader leadership roles. Should you be more ambitious?

Perhaps you feel jealous of your peers. Maybe you fear missing out on increased pay and prestige. Perhaps you resent how people no better than you seem to be achieving more than you. Are they? By whose measure? Society’s? Your family’s? Yours? What you value determines the price you’re willing to pay. Let’s do that analysis.

It’s my life

In Western media, heroes (and villains) don’t settle for ordinary lives. They strive to be the most powerful on the planet (or in the universe, or, heck, multiverse). Little kids imagine being heroes, and parents dream of fabulous success for their children.

However, in the real world, being the most powerful often doesn’t end well. World leaders age rapidly in office and then are discarded (or, in some cases, exiled or killed). CEOs have their heyday, then talk about spending more time with their families, often wishing they had done so sooner. Adages tell us that it’s lonely at the top, and contention among leaders is warfare.

Maybe you want the control and prestige of being on top, but what you value lies elsewhere. You’ve got just one life. You get to choose how to live it and what matters to you. Before you start resenting your ambitious peers, you should decide what success looks like to you.

Dreams

What truly makes you happy and fulfilled? What ideals do you value most? Perhaps it’s loved ones. Maybe it’s transcendent designs and delighted customers. Perhaps it’s spirituality, growth, travel, or hobbies. Maybe it’s integrity, service, authenticity, and respect.

If what you value most is power, control, and prestige, ambition is an excellent tool to get you there. However, if those aren’t your top values, ambition will eventually cause you to sacrifice what’s most important to you.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

• What home or work activities do I enjoy the most—when time just seems to disappear?
• What interesting or challenging activities have I always wanted to try?
• What activities come easily for me that others struggle with or avoid?
• What roles focus on and perhaps expand those activities?
• Is my career path leading me toward or away from those roles and activities?

Answer those questions for yourself. Discuss them with your manager, mentors, and those who care about you. Carefully consider what you’d like your life to be and then put those goals and dreams first. You can still get promoted and have a great career, just not at the expense of what makes you happy and fulfilled.

You might think

It still irks me when I see former peers in prestigious positions. Why them and not me? I could learn to do what they do and attain their stature and paycheck. My bruised ego can make me jealous and bitter. My ego tells me “more, more, more.” My ego is full of it.

Ambition is a useful tool. It will push you to earn enough for a comfortable life. Beyond that, ambition and ego are only helpful if they align with your values. These days, I’m delighted for my friends who’ve attained more than me, especially if they are living their dreams. I’m living my dreams too—perhaps more modestly, but they are my dreams; they are what I want and value, and I’ve never been happier.

Don’t worry, be happy

Even if you believe in reincarnation, each life is precious and finite. You get just one chance to make the most of your time. Regardless of what your parents, friends, or society believe, it’s what makes you happy and fulfilled that matters most.

Early ambition is useful to push your career forward sufficiently to cover your basic needs. Beyond that, being famous and powerful has its perks, but it isn’t always that great. Consider what makes you happy and fulfilled. Decide what values you cherish and won’t compromise. Then follow your ambitions only as far as they align with those values. Keep your ego in check, and measure your life against your own dreams, not those of your peers.

Society tends to push a certain kind of success, but we each have our own definition. It’s your definition of success that means the most to you and those that love you. Choose thoughtfully and wisely. Delight in your choice. Live your best life.